A New Maxim: Devendorf's Razor

ver. Infinity 2.0
"The surest way to end a conversation is to talk to a Devendorf."

The Brothers D have a special gift to make some comment that will end any attempted conversation, especially the inane socially polite conversations that occur in lines at check out, in elevators, or any situation in which the weather, sports teams, or any other mundanity is a suitable subject.

Elevator:
A girl with a dog. The dog is wagging it's tale.
Girl: My dog likes you.
Mark D: Yeah for me.

Done! Three simple words that left another two minutes of an uncomfortable silence to grow as we waited for our individual floors.

Urinal:
An eager sports fan saddles up next to Mark D.
Sports Fan: Can you believe these Chargers? I mean, I was glad to see KC (Kansas City) get knocked out. We'd already played them twice, and we were done. Done, know what I mean? I mean, uh, are you a sports fan?
Mark D: No.

One word! The rest of the urination was in an awkward staring silence, the way God meant us to pee.

In next lesson, you'll learn bad listening techniques, like screaming, making a gagging gesture, dunking your head under water, etc.

Mark D

Whither Valentine's: Blood Diamond's Terrible Legacy

ver. Infinity 2.0

Now that the cover has been blown on the murderous history of expensive gems, lots of dark secrets are being exposed about other so called "romantic" gestures. The following list was confirmed on a special 3 hour, 60 Minutes, (180 Minutes):

Blood Furs
Blood Chocolates
Blood Luxury Cars
Blood Hallmark Cards
Blood Cunnilingus
and the above fields of cadavers where the Blood Roses grow!

This Valentines Day, the romantic non-murderous gift is a high-five. But not a blood high five.

Thanks,

Mark D

the future is sekure

Sure, we've been hearing for years how the Asian countries are beating us in Math and Science. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure we will always be better than them in English.

Ideas!

ver. Infinity 2.0
These ideas are patented:

Movie:
Bloodfist 3: The First Two Sucked

Book.
How to Give Up.
1. Quit.
2. Keep it up, or don't, or do do do.

I took a trip to Solvang/Buellton formerly wine country, now Sideways Country. The place was full of Paul Giamatta's with sensitive eyes hidden in pasty, overly fed faces. They wander the wine tasting shops and vineyards like hippies after the dead broke up. They're looking for their Virginia Madsens. There seems to be a dearth of the Madsens, but the Giamatta wanna bes are a plenty. They are ready to propose marriage to the daring woman who makes eye contact.

The Chinese New Year should be an official do-over if the American one was messed up due to: sickness, depression, stripper with explosive diarrhea.

Thank you,

Mark