finally, techno truth

Finally, that techno loop 'James Brown Is Dead' will be true! It looks like the devil is getting his big Payback. Dance on brother B.

Charity?

ver. Infinity 2.0
My fiance wanted us to give to a charity this Christmas. I suggested a few alternatives.

*Solving a mystery.
*Taking a penny from the "take a penny" tray and putting it into the Jerry's Kid jar.
*Consider all the crackers that went stale before they should have as a donation to the Saltines Corporation.
*All those times that during a visit to a bar that I paid one more round than I should have.
*Forgiving Osama.

Any other suggestions? She serious about the charity stuff.

Mark D

Logic Puzzles and Holiday Cheer

ver. Infinity 2.0
You know that logic puzzle where there are two doors, one leads to hell, the other to heaven, with one guardian who only lies, and one guardian, who speaks only truth? You can only ask them one question in order to get to the right door. Heaven, I think? I’ve had a real life logic puzzle today, here it is:

Two dentists: One dentist, a Persian who uses high tech equipment, says I have two back cavities, and all my fillings need to be replaced. The other, poorer equipment, but a white guy, says I have one front cavity, and everything else is fine. Whom do I believe? Mind you, the first dentist was two months ago and I have been brushing my back ones pretty well lately, so maybe the cavity moved or healed? But how can I really know this?

I gave to a charity today, and yet I have no receipt and the IRS will never deduct it. I contributed to the “Prevent Holiday Unemployment by Not Reporting Obvious Theft Fund.” Today, at the 99cent store, I observed an cashier, Linda, her real name, seeing my cash in hand, not ring up my items, and ask for $3.05. I gave her a four singles, and she gave me .95 back. I’ve seen her pull this scam with other customers before, but never so blatantly and never with me. Linda, seems like a current or former meth head, who is very friendly to customers, a favorite among the 99ers. You’re welcome Linda, sorry 99cent Only Stores.

Merry Christmas to all!

Mark D

Adopt a Highway.

We've all seen the signs along our nations roadways. Adopt-a-highway. A wonderful program that keeps our highways and biways clean, while at the same time providing a bit of adverstisment and showing of good will from local businesses and community groups. However, the competition among those who want to sponsor the clean-up has gotten fierce. With the long waiting lists, the difficulty with governmental red tape, and all the administrative and regulatory costs, people are looking elsewhere. "It was a shock the first time we got a foreign application," says Rudu Constantinescu, president of the Romaninan equivalent "adopt-a-highway" promgram, the ARM (Adopta Românesc Magistrală), "but now, over 70% of our adoptions come from America. It is wonderful for our economy. It had created thousands of jobs, and a boom for the local broom factories in Bistriţa-Năsăud." Not all of his countrymen appreciate the foreign influence over cleaner highways. Oana Tariceanu, of the nationalist Muri Tigane Party says it has increased crime across the country. "No one is doing things according to the rules, there are backroads that spring up overnight and are sponsored the next day. Gangs of gypsies trash the roads from their magic wagons, then charge exhorbitant fees to clean them up again, or they will send photographs of the ugly highway back to the American sponsors. And they steal babies!" On home soil, local adoption groups discourage the adoptions taking place in places like eastern Europe and China. "There are plenty of needy roads here in our own backyards," says LeAnn Binger of the grassroots Road Less Traveled program. "People claim there aren't any road left to adopt, but they just adopt the big new highways, and forget about the backroads that are just as much in need. Everyone wants to be like Brangelina and adopt the Ho Chi Minh Trail or whatever."

Heroines

i started on heroines innocently enough in college. That's where everyone gets thier first sampling. I knew a friend who was into it, and one day I told him to cook me up some. An addiction followed that contols my life to this day. It began with Sacajawea, then quickly moved on to Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Joan of Arc. Heed my warnings. It may look cool in the movies or on TV, but heroines are no joke. They will control your life. Just say NO.

We're Engaged!!!

ver. Infinity 2.0
You know the moment is right when you are with your FIANCE on the beach, and the beautiful sunset strikes her 6 karat diamond ring just right.

Mahalo!

Mark D