Debate

Krazy John D's New Energy Line

Local aspiring entrepreneur Krazy John D is releasing a line of products with the energizing amino acid taurine. The market has been flooded with taurine based energy drinks over the years, however according to Krazy John D, "there are so many other ways to get taurine other than drinks." One product includes hand sanitizer with taurine. "Not using my products is like wasting energy, and everyone cares about energy and stuff." Krazy John D has not found a distributor thus far, but plans to be giving his products away at promotional events around the holidays. Perhaps this is just the thing to get us through the holiday season.

Dad's Good Intentions

Warning: New Terrorist Threats (Although Not Top Priority Threats).

There are reports of terrorists plotting within our major cities. Most people are aware of the audio based alerts at crosswalks telling the visually impaired where and when it is safe to cross the street. Terrorists are buying up mocking birds and will soon be releasing them near the crosswalks. The birds will likely learn the chirping sounds of the crosswalk, and relay these beeps at inopportune times. These counterfeit beeps will send blind people into the streets causing accidents and major chaos. We cannot let the terrorists win.

Dear Diary....Blechhhh!

When I had an eating disorder, I used to take pills so I would quickly evacuate my colon of the food I'd just eaten. I would write down my binges and purges. In order to be sneaky about it, when anyone asked what I was writing, I would say, "I'm writing in a diary...a journal." But I really meant, "a diarrhea journal". I win!

What's the worry of terrorists training in Madrases

Apparently, there is a lot of concern over terrorists in Pakistan training children in Madrases. They are only pants. Sure, they are ugly pants, but who cares what terrorists wear when learning to hate. It might be good that they are in those pants because they'll be easier to spot.

Jamie Kennedy Visits Western China to Support His Fellow Uighurs

Jamie Kennedy, in his funniest on-taking since his hidden camera show, is dressing as his hilarious Malibu bred white rapper, to support the Uighurs demonstrating in Western China. Apparently Kennedy misheard the news reports and understood "Uighurs" to mean something different. It should be fun nonetheless.

Chez Roi

A man's home is his castle. That's extra true for a king.

Father and Son Conversation re: God (and other stuff)

Son: Hey dad, if the Bible says that being gay is wrong, but it also says that eating shellfish is wrong, why is it okay for us to eat shrimp but it's still wrong to be gay?

Dad: Ha! It's not like we're eating gay shrimp.

(later that day)

Son: Dad, I just found out that Santa Claus isn't real!

Dad: Neither are your mom's breasts, but that doesn't bother me.