Newest Member Causes Conspiracy Group to Self-Reflect, Disband
ver. Infinity 2.0
“I mean, everyone knows that September 11th didn’t even happen on Septemer 11th!”
Encinitas, CA:
The San Diego, CA Yahoo Conspiracy Theory Group, “The Truth Brigade” disbanded after their 30th meeting largely because its newest member, Stan Kerchian, caused the rest of the group to reflect on who they really were.
The group founder and president, Ben Polenta, had started the group back in December 2004 said, “I’d started the group because all my brothers hated hearing my theories on Kurt Cobain’s assassination. Sure, there were some edgier POVs within the group, things that bordered on racist, but we were cool with that. But Stan really made me think that I was a kook for ever starting this thing.”
Dan Cousca, V.P. of the group was the person who initially invited Stan to their 30th/last meeting, at local Round Table, after extended message boards chats. “I thought his enthusiasm seemed borderline unhealthy in some of his posts, I mean, everything he wrote was in CAPS with about six exclamation points!”
“He talked the talk,” John Seitan, who joined after the 3rd meeting reflecting on what made Kerchian such a mirror for the group. “He started most sentences with, ‘I mean everyone knows,’ ‘The truth is,’ and “I found this website that says,’ which is totally what you need to do to make a conspiracy seem credible, which made me doubt every point I’d ever raised at the group. Even normal stuff, like JFK, RFK, and JFK Jr. all being killed by the same ninja clan. I had charts explaining that one. Now, it just sounds stupid to me.”
Seitan continues, “I’d always found abbreviations a real time saver, MLK, BTK, LOL, the usual stuff, but his abbreviations and acronyms were just insane. I wrote them down on this napkin. He said, ‘MJ and X,F tell the truth about the K-ing and R-ing, and D-ing of RNJTT.’ I guess MJ could be Michael Jackson, X-F is X-Files, Killing Raping perhaps. No idea who or what RNJTT is, and when I asked him, he told me that I was working for the CIA or possible the TDNYQ. I mean, c’mon.”
“I don’t even think Round Table will even let us back in after the racist stuff he was yelling at all the cooks and cashiers. I mean, Round Table has great, pizza, bread sticks, beer! They had video games and back room where we could have some privacy. It even had a big screen where we sometimes watched bad quality video of President Bush performing a Satanic Ritual to refresh his power. Not that it matters now, I guess.”
Kerchian’s parting words to the group, which, according to witnesses contained the phrases, “Alien beaners,” “Inter-galactic Jewry,” and “OQZDNT Cabal.”
“We just looked at each other, I mean really looked, and realized, we should really grow up,” said Polenta.
There is a silver lining to this rain cloud, for Seitan, “When I told my co-workers at Subway that I quit the group, some clapped me on the back and told me that they used to think I had mental problems and were glad I would stop sharing my stupid theories.
Kerchian, upon hearing the news of the Yahoo groups had this to ramble: “OF COURSE, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE KGB STARTED YAHOO GROUPS IN ORDER TO OUT MEMBERS WHO KNEW THAT DR. WHO WASN’T A TV SHOW AT ALL, BUT A JEW-RUN DIMENSION, BACKED BY C.R.O.A.T.A. !! THOSE GUYS, IF THEY WERE EVEN HUMAN, JUST COULDN’T HANDLE SOMEONE FINALLY SPEAKING THE TRUTH. D.A.T.Z.E.E. FOREVER!!!!!!”
“I mean, everyone knows that September 11th didn’t even happen on Septemer 11th!”
Encinitas, CA:
The San Diego, CA Yahoo Conspiracy Theory Group, “The Truth Brigade” disbanded after their 30th meeting largely because its newest member, Stan Kerchian, caused the rest of the group to reflect on who they really were.
The group founder and president, Ben Polenta, had started the group back in December 2004 said, “I’d started the group because all my brothers hated hearing my theories on Kurt Cobain’s assassination. Sure, there were some edgier POVs within the group, things that bordered on racist, but we were cool with that. But Stan really made me think that I was a kook for ever starting this thing.”
Dan Cousca, V.P. of the group was the person who initially invited Stan to their 30th/last meeting, at local Round Table, after extended message boards chats. “I thought his enthusiasm seemed borderline unhealthy in some of his posts, I mean, everything he wrote was in CAPS with about six exclamation points!”
“He talked the talk,” John Seitan, who joined after the 3rd meeting reflecting on what made Kerchian such a mirror for the group. “He started most sentences with, ‘I mean everyone knows,’ ‘The truth is,’ and “I found this website that says,’ which is totally what you need to do to make a conspiracy seem credible, which made me doubt every point I’d ever raised at the group. Even normal stuff, like JFK, RFK, and JFK Jr. all being killed by the same ninja clan. I had charts explaining that one. Now, it just sounds stupid to me.”
Seitan continues, “I’d always found abbreviations a real time saver, MLK, BTK, LOL, the usual stuff, but his abbreviations and acronyms were just insane. I wrote them down on this napkin. He said, ‘MJ and X,F tell the truth about the K-ing and R-ing, and D-ing of RNJTT.’ I guess MJ could be Michael Jackson, X-F is X-Files, Killing Raping perhaps. No idea who or what RNJTT is, and when I asked him, he told me that I was working for the CIA or possible the TDNYQ. I mean, c’mon.”
“I don’t even think Round Table will even let us back in after the racist stuff he was yelling at all the cooks and cashiers. I mean, Round Table has great, pizza, bread sticks, beer! They had video games and back room where we could have some privacy. It even had a big screen where we sometimes watched bad quality video of President Bush performing a Satanic Ritual to refresh his power. Not that it matters now, I guess.”
Kerchian’s parting words to the group, which, according to witnesses contained the phrases, “Alien beaners,” “Inter-galactic Jewry,” and “OQZDNT Cabal.”
“We just looked at each other, I mean really looked, and realized, we should really grow up,” said Polenta.
There is a silver lining to this rain cloud, for Seitan, “When I told my co-workers at Subway that I quit the group, some clapped me on the back and told me that they used to think I had mental problems and were glad I would stop sharing my stupid theories.
Kerchian, upon hearing the news of the Yahoo groups had this to ramble: “OF COURSE, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE KGB STARTED YAHOO GROUPS IN ORDER TO OUT MEMBERS WHO KNEW THAT DR. WHO WASN’T A TV SHOW AT ALL, BUT A JEW-RUN DIMENSION, BACKED BY C.R.O.A.T.A. !! THOSE GUYS, IF THEY WERE EVEN HUMAN, JUST COULDN’T HANDLE SOMEONE FINALLY SPEAKING THE TRUTH. D.A.T.Z.E.E. FOREVER!!!!!!”
posted by infinity 2.0 at 1:04 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home