Local Man Beginning to Suspect Marriage is Corporate Sponsored Event
ver. Infinity 2.0
Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
Steve Gutterung, 35, is beginning wonder if his marriage to Stacie Irvine, 22, is a corporate sponsored event. After six years of marriage, Gutterung, feels like he is finally putting the pieces together on a lot of suspicious activity.
“Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, beautiful, wonderful wife, it’s just that she seems like a commercial sometimes, touting the benefit of this brand of laundry detergent or the flavor popping excitement of this snack chip. At first I thought she watched too much TV, but the other day I found a corporate memo for that night’s dinner’s sponsors and talking points.
Six years ago, Gutterung, met his wife at O’Shaunasee’s Miller Lite Night’s Out.
“Yeah, she was one of the Miller Girls, in a white tank top with “Miller Light” printed on the front. I went up and asked her what her favorite beer was, she laughed and said, “Miller Lite.” I said, “Me too!” We both laughed really hard at my joke. We got a long like gangbusters, so I asked for her number. Instead, she asked for my phone number and social security number, which I gave to her. I didn’t think she’d call, but she did! I offered to take her to a fancy place, but she just wanted to go to Pizza Hut, which I thought was great, at the time.”
Gutterung, who works at the local phone company claims that Irvine is not his first suspected social meeting with a corporate sponsored interaction.
“Yeah, one time at Virgin Records some guy at a listening station told me that the new Counting Crows was awesome, and I should take a listen. He wasn’t wearing a uniform or anything, so I listened. While I did, he asked me my musical tastes, I said Skynard, Nugent, Skaggs, he said the new Counting Crows album, “Hitchhike to Squaresville,” was right up my alley. So I bought it. It was alright.”
Corporations, in recent years have been paying “cool and attractive” individuals to “get the message out.” Miller Brewing Company Spokesman, Bill Candette, spoke of the phenomena, “Getting “mental space” is getting more and more difficult. I mean, with TIVO and people just getting overwhelmed by advertisements, we’ve been exploring new avenues, like sponsored nights at local bars, paying individuals to go into chat rooms to recommend a new beer, and occasionally women in no uniform going to bars and asking men to buy her, her drink of choice, “Miller Lite.” A sponsored marriage? That idea was bandied around in our A&R’s R&D department, but a real world trial? It would require more than one company, there’d have to be some sort of consortium of very large multi-product corporate sponsors. I can’t really comment on that.”
You’ll hear few complaints from Gutterung.
“Yeah, one time I brought home a six pack of St. Pauli Girl and she just lost it. We had a huge fight, I’d never seen her angrier. But besides me never mentioning prescription medications, because of the monologues she goes on about side effects and benefits, it’s a pretty happy marriage. Except that she only wants to go out to eat to Pizza Hut, KFC, and Taco Bell, and we always have to drink Pepsi or Miller Lite. Every once in a while I’d like a Big Mac and a coke.”
Over a dinner of Fritos, Pepsi and Quaker Snack Bars, Irvine and Gutterung eat with their two obese children, Miller, 6, and Gen, 2, who continually hound their father about buying them an XBox 360 and a Barbie Dream house, respectively.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
Steve Gutterung, 35, is beginning wonder if his marriage to Stacie Irvine, 22, is a corporate sponsored event. After six years of marriage, Gutterung, feels like he is finally putting the pieces together on a lot of suspicious activity.
“Don’t get me wrong, she’s great, beautiful, wonderful wife, it’s just that she seems like a commercial sometimes, touting the benefit of this brand of laundry detergent or the flavor popping excitement of this snack chip. At first I thought she watched too much TV, but the other day I found a corporate memo for that night’s dinner’s sponsors and talking points.
Six years ago, Gutterung, met his wife at O’Shaunasee’s Miller Lite Night’s Out.
“Yeah, she was one of the Miller Girls, in a white tank top with “Miller Light” printed on the front. I went up and asked her what her favorite beer was, she laughed and said, “Miller Lite.” I said, “Me too!” We both laughed really hard at my joke. We got a long like gangbusters, so I asked for her number. Instead, she asked for my phone number and social security number, which I gave to her. I didn’t think she’d call, but she did! I offered to take her to a fancy place, but she just wanted to go to Pizza Hut, which I thought was great, at the time.”
Gutterung, who works at the local phone company claims that Irvine is not his first suspected social meeting with a corporate sponsored interaction.
“Yeah, one time at Virgin Records some guy at a listening station told me that the new Counting Crows was awesome, and I should take a listen. He wasn’t wearing a uniform or anything, so I listened. While I did, he asked me my musical tastes, I said Skynard, Nugent, Skaggs, he said the new Counting Crows album, “Hitchhike to Squaresville,” was right up my alley. So I bought it. It was alright.”
Corporations, in recent years have been paying “cool and attractive” individuals to “get the message out.” Miller Brewing Company Spokesman, Bill Candette, spoke of the phenomena, “Getting “mental space” is getting more and more difficult. I mean, with TIVO and people just getting overwhelmed by advertisements, we’ve been exploring new avenues, like sponsored nights at local bars, paying individuals to go into chat rooms to recommend a new beer, and occasionally women in no uniform going to bars and asking men to buy her, her drink of choice, “Miller Lite.” A sponsored marriage? That idea was bandied around in our A&R’s R&D department, but a real world trial? It would require more than one company, there’d have to be some sort of consortium of very large multi-product corporate sponsors. I can’t really comment on that.”
You’ll hear few complaints from Gutterung.
“Yeah, one time I brought home a six pack of St. Pauli Girl and she just lost it. We had a huge fight, I’d never seen her angrier. But besides me never mentioning prescription medications, because of the monologues she goes on about side effects and benefits, it’s a pretty happy marriage. Except that she only wants to go out to eat to Pizza Hut, KFC, and Taco Bell, and we always have to drink Pepsi or Miller Lite. Every once in a while I’d like a Big Mac and a coke.”
Over a dinner of Fritos, Pepsi and Quaker Snack Bars, Irvine and Gutterung eat with their two obese children, Miller, 6, and Gen, 2, who continually hound their father about buying them an XBox 360 and a Barbie Dream house, respectively.
posted by infinity 2.0 at 12:48 AM
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