dis-Independence Day

Let us reflect, this anniversary on our country's independence day. What is this day really about?? Back in the day, the Brits were a bunch of 'wankers', trying to tax our tea. But time heals everything, even our addiction to 'tea'*. What was the big riff all about? A small misunderstanding has separated our two cultures for hundreds of years. Well, that, and the Atlantic Ocean. Now, in the year of our lord (so to speak), 2007, let us look at the world through the frame of 20/10 contact lenses that our optimistic optometrists provide, and realize that our two countries are much more similar, than any two countries in the world. (Yes, I realize Canada is a 'country', but they are more like some sort of US shadow than equals. Basically, Canada is like Åland (the automomous province of Finland)). What I really mean is, we all need to join together and put aside our differences of yore, to become...The United Kingdom of America! UKA ALL THE WAY!

*tea is a beverage made from soaking leaves in hot water. It has a bitter taste unless sugar and milk are added. It is enjoyed by roughly 5 billion people worldwide, those 5 billion people who have never tasted coffee or Rockstar Energy Drink.