5 More Ways in Which I Might Be More Popular Than Jesus.
1. Go to Liverpool, and get my 4 closest mates to start a band. Get a lame haircut using a bowl. Get rid of one member of the band to be left with 4. Write some basic songs. Go international and get really popular. Let our hair grow out, and hook up with a crazy Japanese chick. Get experimental with our music. Done deal.
2. Grow a beard and long hair, and get a flowing garment. Go back in time to when Jesus was crucified. Go to the place where they stashed his body for 3 days, and hide in there before his followers put him in there. After Jesus gets taken up to heaven, lay on the rock in his place. When they open the cave, I will pop up and say, "hey guys, what took you so long!" I believe followers of the son of God would be more impressed by a body coming back to life than by a body disappearing. I would be an instant success, and become quite popular. I would be doing it as Jesus, but it would still be me, so I would be more popular.
3. With a time machine, I'd go to Jerusalem a few years before the birth of Jesus. I would tell people all about being "preclear" and "operating Thetans" and with the help of Dianetics and some E-Meters, I would convince everyone that they should join Scientology. Clearly such a great religion would trump Christianity, and we could say/believe whatever we wanted about J.C.
4. I'd go back in time to the time about 500 years before Jesus. Then I'd impregnante loads of women. Each time I had a son, I would name him "Jesus of Arimathea H. Christ". I would then go back to the future and back to the past and do it again. All in all, I figure I could knock out about 10,000 Jesus's. Then when Jesus came along, and was named Jesus, people would think he was just hopping on the bandwagon, and wasn't anything special. Also, even if he did make a name for himself, there would be too much confusion with other Jesus', some of whom were criminals, or average Joe's, or actors. In the present, Jesus the name might be popular, but the guy probably wouldn't be. Once again, score one for me.
5. Change my name to "Coke". Coke's awesome distribution network goes all over the world, even to places than have never heard of Jesus. Coke is very popular, and refreshing.
2. Grow a beard and long hair, and get a flowing garment. Go back in time to when Jesus was crucified. Go to the place where they stashed his body for 3 days, and hide in there before his followers put him in there. After Jesus gets taken up to heaven, lay on the rock in his place. When they open the cave, I will pop up and say, "hey guys, what took you so long!" I believe followers of the son of God would be more impressed by a body coming back to life than by a body disappearing. I would be an instant success, and become quite popular. I would be doing it as Jesus, but it would still be me, so I would be more popular.
3. With a time machine, I'd go to Jerusalem a few years before the birth of Jesus. I would tell people all about being "preclear" and "operating Thetans" and with the help of Dianetics and some E-Meters, I would convince everyone that they should join Scientology. Clearly such a great religion would trump Christianity, and we could say/believe whatever we wanted about J.C.
4. I'd go back in time to the time about 500 years before Jesus. Then I'd impregnante loads of women. Each time I had a son, I would name him "Jesus of Arimathea H. Christ". I would then go back to the future and back to the past and do it again. All in all, I figure I could knock out about 10,000 Jesus's. Then when Jesus came along, and was named Jesus, people would think he was just hopping on the bandwagon, and wasn't anything special. Also, even if he did make a name for himself, there would be too much confusion with other Jesus', some of whom were criminals, or average Joe's, or actors. In the present, Jesus the name might be popular, but the guy probably wouldn't be. Once again, score one for me.
5. Change my name to "Coke". Coke's awesome distribution network goes all over the world, even to places than have never heard of Jesus. Coke is very popular, and refreshing.
posted by infinity 2.0 at 2:59 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home